Keeping in Touch with your Relationship

Posted on February 12, 2016. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , |

When raising two, three or more babies at a time, it can be a challenge for even the most devoted and loving couple to find time to focus on their relationship.  A relationship can unintentionally be derailed as we change, burp, feed, bathe, dress, play, clean up after all those babies, and maybe a toddler as well and then start the list all over again.  Throwing in a load of laundry or two and making meals takes up any remaining “free” time.

It is important to keep in touch with your relationship as well as looking after the children. If you don’t want things to fall apart between the two of you, it will be imperative that time be scheduled for just the two of you.  It doesn’t have to be a long involved dinner date (or that would be great if you can manage it), but it does need to be “you” time.  Here are some ideas of how you can keep in touch with each other:

  1.  Keep the lines of communication open.  If either of you is feeling overwhelmed, let the other know.  We all “hit the wall” from time to time and letting your partner know you are running out of steam nips things in the bud and allows the other to offer some type of support instead of noticing a bad mood and assuming that you are upset with him/her.
  2. Don’t over criticize each other.  There are many different ways of doing something and letting the other handle things in their own way, as well as appreciating the time they are taking with the children and their resulting blossoming relationship, puts a positive spin on everything.
  3. Try to do something just the two of you at least once every two weeks.  It can be a coffee out with grandparents or a babysitter taking the home front for a half hour, or a date night, or spending time together after the children are in bed.  Share a glass of wine, foot rub, talk or just sit together.  At some point you may feel comfortable in taking in a movie.
  4. If you need something done by the other, don’t expect them to read your mind.  Ask for help if a couple of babies need to be changed.  And be appreciative afterwards.
  5. Don’t limit your contact to just each other.  Having an outside connection is healthy and offers some balance to child-rearing.  Ideas might include coffee with friends, a sports game, exercise, and such. There is a risk in only staying home and thereby becoming isolated.
  6. Be kind and caring towards each other.   As the saying goes:  you get more with honey than with vinegar.  Laugh together at every chance.  By following this simple suggestion, we also set a great example for our children to be good to each other.

 

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