raising multiples

PERSONAL BREASTFEEDING JOURNEY

Posted on October 9, 2017. Filed under: Breastfeeding multiplies, raising multiples, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

The following is reprinted, with permission, from the amazing twin Momma, Sara Pomeroy.  Momma Sara is brave, honest, caring, loving, doesn’t hold back and shares from the bottom of her heart.  I hope you get as much out of Momma Sara’s story as so many other Twin and Triplet Mommas have.  Blessings.

I want to post this in hopes it will help someone, or maybe help me find some support…

I had it all planned from the time that test was positive: water birth at the local birth center, breastfeeding until forever, you know- the total crunchy mom package. It was what I had dreamt of as long as I had dreamt of having kids. I had a glorious pregnancy. It was my first. We were having twins!! And then things started to go against my “plans”.

My b/g twins were born at 34w6d by emergency cesarean due to preeclampsia. Thank goodness they were healthy! (They just turned one.) But, from the start it was a constant and never-ending struggle for me to breastfeed them at all, forget ebf [exclusively breast feed]. From hours after they were born I was already feeling pressure to use formula from family and nursing staff. One RN in the nursery even bottle-fed my son against my wishes. I nearly hit her. We went through lip and tongue-tether revisions and exercises, multiple meetings with different IBCLCs and groups, many well-meaning moms on Facebook and in person, and endless reading and research during those sleepless days and nights. My son lost 10% and my daughter a whopping 17% of their already low preemie birth weights in the span of four days, and we had no choice but to supplement or not be able to leave the hospital with them.

I ate anything toted as having powers to boost milk production and swallowed capsule after capsule of herbs. I drank nearly enough water to drown myself. I watched my weight balloon from taking loads of domperidone. I did all of this with little output increase. I watched my mother and husband struggle with what to say to me to support me in my efforts. I silently screamed and cursed the braggarts who told me stories of “geez that’s too bad, I had enough milk to feed the neighborhood with mine”, even when I asked them nicely to not tell me that because I was struggling.

I am an ER RN and had to go back to work after twelve weeks. I spent thirteen-hour days caring for others while I pumped meager amounts of milk in a tiny room at the back of the building. I almost got fired for insisting on having breaks to pump. I cried when I spilled the two ounces I had pumped after fighting for a break one day [and] while taking my pump off. It was like being punched in the gut. I would come home from work and place my sad little bottles in the fridge and enter into another night of broken sleep.

I smiled for photos and out with my friends. But I hid and sobbed while locked in the bathroom at work or shower at home so no one would see my defeat.

I quit my job after six months and devoted myself to making it work. It didn’t.

I told myself that it was ok to supplement with formula but it made me feel horrible inside. “A fed baby is a happy baby” was a mantra I repeated hourly. I started to wonder why I put this pressure on myself. Why did it seem that everywhere I turned for advice, all I came away with was more pressure? Did the moms who “humble bragged” in the forums with their photos of freezer stashes and 9oz bottles from one session know how much it hurt the rest of us who were struggling daily to feed their babies that golden goodness? Were people really being well-meaning when they told me it would get better? Or did they just not know what else to say?

Well, my babies turned one a couple weeks ago. They self-weaned completely around the same time. Even though they only ever seemed to get a snack at Chez Mom, it was important and special time for us and it shattered my heart when they were done.

But then it happened. It FINALLY happened. I was telling a close girlfriend about them weaning themselves and how it hurt and she said the simplest thing and it was the best thing I had heard in a long time. She said: “You did your job, mama, and that is a wonderful thing!” I felt better. Instantly.

So, what I’m trying to tell you… what all this long-winded rambling is about… is this:

Mamas, you’re doing great! Everything you do for your babies is amazing. Everything you’re doing is good enough. Changing up the plan is OK. Nobody (at least not me, and definitely not those babies) will ever fault or judge you for having to modify your perfectly plotted plan of attack for being the best mom ever. I promise. (If they do, tell them where to go. Use small words because they probably won’t understand big ones.) If you can’t ebf your babies, I promise that some is enough. If you cannot bf at all, I promise that formula is more than “good enough”. PLEASE don’t beat yourself up. PLEASE don’t feel bad. But most of all, PLEASE don’t keep it all inside like I did. ✌🏻💜

 

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WHEN TODDLERS CRY AS YOU LEAVE THEM AT DAYCARE/PRESCHOOL

Posted on October 6, 2017. Filed under: Making a Difference, Multiple Birth, raising multiples, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , |

Sometimes little ones can feel overwhelmed as you leave them at daycare or preschool. No amount of reassurances will make them feel better and your Mommy/Daddy Guilt is off the chart as a result!

A Mom with boy/girl twins experienced this situation, but only with her son, and she called me distraught and laden with guilt at her son’s reaction. She was positive she was injuring him emotionally and he would never recover.

We knew he liked the place, the people, the toys and the songs. His sister was there and he liked that aspect too. So I suggested that she tell him at breakfast that they were going to school, but that she would give a kiss to keep until he needed it during his morning. On arrival at school, and according to our plan, she gave him a large kiss in the palm of his hand and folded his fingers around it. She shared with him again, “If you are feeling you need that kiss at any time, just put Mommy’s kiss on your cheek.”

This worked really well except two days later, the school called (laughing) saying that he would not use that hand until he had used the kiss. He was afraid to drop it. When Mom shared the story with me, we had such a laugh, also appreciating how clever he was to not wish to drop his kiss. So I suggested to Mom to tell him to put the kiss in his pocket until he needed it. Of course she would need to make sure his outfit had pockets. This way, the kiss was secure and safe.

There was no looking back and not only did the Little Fellow enjoy his school, Mom no longer had any feelings of guilt.

Try thinking outside the box when problem solving with your Littles.  Making them a part of the solution rather than a part of the problem, can soon have you all on the road to success.

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT……..

Posted on October 5, 2017. Filed under: Making a Difference, raising multiples, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , |

FOOD FOR THOUGHT……..
 
“When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it’s our job to share our calm and not join their chaos.”
 
L.R. Knost
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Dads/Partners

Posted on September 26, 2017. Filed under: raising multiples, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , |

The most important thing a Father [Partner] can do for his children is to love their Mother.      

      ~Theodore M. Hoseburgh

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CHOCOLATE, CAFFEINE & BREASTFEEDING

Posted on July 28, 2017. Filed under: Breastfeeding multiplies, raising multiples, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , |

A recent series of posts highlighted the fine line between fact and fiction when it comes to breastfeeding. A mother-in-law’s counsel to her daughter-in-law, a new breastfeeding mother, to avoid chocolate and caffeine for its negative effect on baby, led to Internet uproar.  Indeed, mother-in-law was pilloried as a “liar.”

Whatever happened to perspective?

The culprit, if there is one, are similar, naturally occurring substances in coffee and chocolate that have stimulant effects. The cacao tree, Theobroma, contains theobromine while caffeine comes from the bean of the coffee tree. Both are stimulants and can cause irritability, wakefulness and jumpiness in people sensitive to the substances or who consume too much.

The blood – breast milk barrier is thankfully very efficient and for most breastfeeding mothers indulging in some chocolate or coffee causes no issue. Of course, moderation is important. Eat a pound of chocolate or drink eight cups of coffee in a row and baby might be as revved up as mom and, for sure, won’t sleep too well! No need, however, to abstain.

Knowledge is passed down from one generation to the next but that knowledge also needs to be updated. Breastfeeding mothers can take comfort in the effectiveness of the barrier between their body and what passes to the baby through the milk. This is not license, however, to abuse it.

So, enjoy that cup of coffee and no need to pass up the Godiva dark chocolate that goes so well with it!

 

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Canadian Blog for Parents with Multiples

Posted on July 23, 2017. Filed under: raising multiples, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , |

I have come across a very helpful Site/Blog for parents with multiples which can be reached at http://www.lifewithmultiples.com   Written by Chris and Kathleen, parents of spontaneous triplets (surprise!), they address many of the questions any parents expecting twins or more might have.  Give them a look see.  I think you will be pleased.

Oh, and it is a Canadian Site.

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One Breast Under Performs….

Posted on June 29, 2017. Filed under: Breastfeeding multiplies, Jumelle Twin Tracking App, raising multiples | Tags: , , , , , |

Most women would be surprised to learn that it is very common to have one breast that is more productive in making milk than the other.  The differences in supply can range from minimal to quite dramatic.   This is normal and there is nothing “wrong” with you or your breasts.  LOL

If this is you, here are a couple of ideas to help increase supply in the lower producing breast:

  1.  It is not unusual to have one multiple who is a better, deeper sucker than his/her sibling(s).  Put your stronger sucker on the lower producing breast in order to cue it to produce more milk.
  2. Pump the lower producing breast after a nursing session thereby stimulating it to make more milk.

What have you done to increase supply in your lower producing breast?

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MOM LOVES JUMELLE THE BEST BABY TRACKING APP

Posted on June 15, 2017. Filed under: raising multiples | Tags: , , , , , , , |

Hi Lynda,

Found your wonderful app today, I needed something to track my 5 month old twins feeding, sleeping and changing. It is also helpful because I can track my toddler’s poopy diapers.

It is the only app I found to track multiple children. Your app is very user friendly and will help tremendously. It would be helpful if the user could also input the amount consumed in a bottle feeding in ml and ounces. Being at home with three children under two I exclusively pump and would love to be able to have a daily summary of the amount consumed in a day.

Thank you for your time

Stephanie

(Check out Jumelle The Best Baby Tracking App on my Site at http://www.jumelle.ca)

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MUSIC IS IMPORTANT TO BABIES’ WELL-BEING

Posted on May 26, 2017. Filed under: raising multiples, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , |

I attended our grandson’s 9-month check-up this past week and the doctor asked if we sing to the baby.  Our daughter’s house always as music, all genres, and her little guy really responds well as the beat goes on. “Great,” said the doctor, “We have found that babies do well when they are sung to and exposed to music.” So don’t be afraid to sing to your babies, even if it is a little off tune, bet they will be your biggest fans.
 
If you already sing or play music for your babies have you found they have a favourite tune? Our grandson loves to hear “16 Tons” and we love to sing it. 😀
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Multiples and Postpartum Depression

Posted on May 18, 2017. Filed under: raising multiples, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , |

This topic is Multiple Births Canada’s upcoming 28th May, 2017 subject for Multiple Birth Awareness Day (see http://www.multiplesbirthscanada.org for more information).  While Postpartum Depression (PPD) can be a big issue for parents of singletons, parents of multiples can take a big hit with PPD and talking about it is an important step for any Mother to getting help.

Here is a personal story posted by Birth Without Fear and this Mom’s experience is a well-written article addressing PPD.  Check it out here: http://birthwithoutfearblog.com/2017/05/17/i-sank-deeper-deeper-a-story-of-postpartum-depression/

Thank you to Birth Without Fear for shedding some light on a topic that many new Moms face and which still contains some stigma.  PPD is a disease, can be treated and affects everyone in the family.

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