Celebrating Quadruplets………

Posted on March 23, 2015. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

Today is a very special milestone for these 4:

http://www.therecord.com/news-story/5519406-waterloo-parents-throw-30th-birthday-bash-for-quadruplets/

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Twins, Triplets and more are Also Individuals

Posted on February 19, 2015. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

A parent’s challenge is to respect the multiple-birth bond, but also encourage their children to become happy, healthy individuals.  It can be easier to do things within the group and there is certainly much less pressure to socialize multiples, but are we doing them a favour when we constantly see them only or the majority of the time as a part of group?  I don’t think so.  I also think it is better for the children to be introduced to their separateness while they are still young, the younger the better.  In that way, doing somethings without their co-multiple(s) becomes a natural part of their lives and who they are.  Here are some ideas on encouraging your multiples to also go it alone:

1.  Encourage individual preferences, likes and dislikes amongst the children.  This can range from food choices, to book choices, to sport choices, to course choices.  Letting them choose their own clothes for the the day can also help them feel comfortable with choices that pertain to each of them individually.

2.  Grandparents may take only one for a sleepover.  This is so win/win for children, parents and grandparents.

3.  Going on an errand?  One on one time can be hard to have happen with multiples, so work that time in in the natural flow of things.  Take only one child on the errand: to the bank, for groceries, to the drugstore.  These little times apart present opportunities for parents to learn about each child’s particular ideas, thoughts, fears, and interests.  Helps with bonding as well.

4.  Don’t constantly dress them alike.  When they look like a package, they will be perceived as a package by everyone.

5.  This also goes for rhyming names.  We can do our children a huge disservice when we chose their names.  We are not always present to protect them as Larry, Harry and Gary need to go it alone sometimes.  Don’t help make them a target of ridicule over something they have had no control over even though the names may be a family tradition or because the parent thinks it is “cute.”.

6.  Separating their school classrooms can be an obvious choice.  They still see each other at lunch and recess but lessons are separate.  Stories at the end of the day are individual, with no competition between them.

7.  There is another very important reason to help our multiple-birth children also be able to be apart.  They arrive in the world together but they most likely will not leave the world together.  Giving them tools to learn to be separate from each other may be an important step in helping them deal with the future when their “We” will become “I.”  I have worked in multiple-birth bereavement support for nearly 25 years and it breaks my heard to hear from grown-up surviving multiples who cannot accpet or go on without their co-sibling.  They are stuck, in unbearable grief and cannot go.  Some are also suffering from survivor’s guilt.  Of course they will miss this very close person whom they have been together with since the beginning, that is natural.  What we don’t want is an inability to move forward, live a good life, and be happy just because their co-multiple has died.  A worse case scenario would be if the survivor(s) wished to join their deceased multiple.  Giving them some tools to be separate from each other at the beginning of their lives, while still enjoying and celebrating their bond, could be a gift that will present itself many years down the road.  You, as the parents, may not be alive to console and hold, so it will be even more important that the survivor(s) be able to work through their grief in a healthy manner.   Please remember that your children are individuals and multiples.

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Jumelle Twin, Triplets, Quadruplet Baby Tracker

Posted on July 11, 2013. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , |

For parents with twins, triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets or two babies close together, many recognize the necessity need of a record of who did what and when and for how long.  Parents need to keep track of number of dirty diapers, feeding habits and duration, naps and bedtimes.  Such a tracking schedule can be very helpful to other caretakers (grandparents, family members, friends, nannies) who come into the house to assist with baby care.  The formal record quickly identifies which baby may be facing a challenge, e.g. constipation, and allows the caregivers to step in a timely fashion to help rectify the situation.  Careful tracking of each babies’ habits ensures that sleep-deprived parents are quickly on top of any issues with marginal room for error.

Tracking minimizes the chances of guesswork: I know someone missed a bowel movement today but which one?
The more children in the multiple-birth set, the more important accurate tracking becomes.   An additional important
issue to keep track of is if one, more or all infants are receiving medications or even vitamins.  Did I or didn’t I? and
which one?  It could be dire if a baby received two doses of medication in error.  Remove the guesswork, anxiety, possible overlap
and potential mistakes by keeping a recording schedule.
There are a couple of ways to keep track of which baby did what and it may include:
~creating a grid with each child’s name at the top, date and a list of items down the side which you would like to record
(dirty diapers, wet diapers, breastfeeding [left/right breast], duration of breastfeeding, time of nap [morning and afternoon],
duration of nap, bedtime [duration of sleep time], medications/vitamins given).
Check out the new multiple-birth Jumelle Twin and Baby Tracking App available on iTunes.  Good for iPhone and iPad,
(working on android).  This app quickly and easily tracks each baby, twin, triplet, quadruplet or quintuplet, in fact up
to 10 babies’ information can be uploaded.  JUMELLE is loaded with hints, tips and suggestions for getting through the latter part of the pregnancy,
delivery and first six weeks after the birth of your multiples.  Take a photo of each baby and upload it to the app.  Keep a record of each
baby’s teething issues, feeding habits, fevers, milestones.  There is a marvellous export feature to ensure information is shared with
multiples’ grandparents, child care centres, out of town parent, babies’ physician.  It has a nightlight feature so you can easily record what is
happening with the babies at nighttime.  Don’t struggle in a sleep-deprived fog to remember which baby, twin, triplet or quadruplet
did what.  The Jumelle Twin and Baby Tracker app keeps it all under control for you.
Lynda P. Haddon
Multiple Birth Educator

 

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